My mom has just always had a hard time wrapping her head around me. "If you really wanted to do it you would!" is a classic line. The other one is "If you just did x and y things would go better for you". And when I say that doesn't work for me they think I just gave up too easily. I think what's most frustrating isn't people saying these things out of ignorance (some people really don't know better because I haven't told them) but chosen ignorance (someone I'd expect to at least try to learn and understand like family and choose not to but seem to think it's okay to judge me anyways).