Much luck today, pinksoil. I hope you can get your "goal information" out on the table at your session. I think it can be really helpful to have goals, so good for you!

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pinksoil said:Using general terms for the word doesn't personalize it as much. It is a defense mechanism that keeps me a tiny bit more safe from my attachment to him.

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I find that really interesting. I thought, well, not saying "you" to your T is a coping mechanism you are using to deal with your intense attachment to him. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? We all have to work out ways to cope with our strong emotions. You have this nice little coping mechanism that is helping you but yet you are working on removing it. When does a coping mechanism become a defense mechanism and therefore something we want to get rid of? For example, I cope (in part) with my depression by making sure to get enough sleep each night. But adequate sleep is really just a defense mechanism against the symptoms of depression. Inadequate sleep is not what is causing my depression--there are deeper causes in my past and current situations. But this doesn't necessarily mean I should get rid of the very helpful defense/coping mechanism of getting enough sleep. Ha, I'm totally rambling, but do you see what I mean? Is not using the word "you" to your T really such a bad thing right now as you struggle with your overwhelming attachment? I don't know one way or another, but I find the question very interesting.

Again, good luck today!