My mom used to invalidate our feelings. In turn, she had been severely mistreated during her childhood. I think my dad practiced invalidation on her, as well, perhaps as a revenge or vindication. He had been very poor and deprived during childhood, indeed. To me, it was a chain of victimhood. My parents did not have a lot of tools or resources to raise us, I think I love them anyway, although I have to admit they produced emotional impairments in my siblings and me. I became disabled in my adolescence and that extra burden made me more prone to invalidation. Being at the bottom, I had to learn that, once you are an adult, you can relativize (in) validation. Nobody can tell the value of a person. As society, we have established that human beings are of supreme value, although in some cultures or ideologies, the value of human beings as individuals are submitted to greater values ( and thus they justify murder on behalf of those superior values), but to me it is just a matter of self-preservation. I mean, the human race at certain stage realized that they have to establish certain rules otherwise we will exterminate each other. IMO, according to the dominant system, certain characteristics are valued as positive (for example, having money, goods, beauty, youth). When you do not have those characteristics you appear as less valuable. To me, particular invalidations mimic those in society, and many times just reflect the anxiety of the invalidator before social pressure. Of course, individual background and particularities are always present, but they always occur within a social context. We live in a world full of exclusion. Ok, sorry to share my weird thoughts but I wanted to share them with you, Fuzzy. You are your owner and you determine your own value. To me, your value is huge. You always brighten me day.