I don´t trust men anymore. I am 31, in month 32 years old, transgender and very disappointed with men in trust and sex life. Men in my country are very selfish, goal of sex is their orgasm, if I had orgasm - they don´t care at all. And I am tired of that. I am tired of them to not understand, that I wouldn´t wear make up, skirts, heels etc., that I won´t be fulfilling their sexual fantasies. I liked sex very much, I masturbate a lot, because I simply need that, as much as men. I have several vibrators. But men here are very sexist.

I take pills for deppression and pills for sleep. I am bipolar, don´t like talking with people much, I have very intellectual hobbies. I have social phobia, anxiety issues, I am hard introvert, I read a lot. I don´t like being among people, but I miss human touch, man´s body, with that problem, that I wish to be man myself. I don´t feel like a woman, I hate my woman´s body and I like men (but mainly "older" men to add to "fun of my life" - I love Alan Rickman and Robert Carlyle e.g.). I never was on men my age.

I am overweight, not attractive in any way. I didn´t date on high school, I never dated normally, I had sexual relationships and one of them grew to be normal from his initiative and even lasted 3 years. But I really have no idea, how to function in relationship.

I don´t believe that anyone will ever love me.

Sorry for english, it´s not my mother language. I am from Czech republic.