I went to see a counselor through my work employee and family assistance plan because i was cheating on my husband and feeling very agitated. Her office was in a mall and i was an hour early, so by the time i went in i had multiple big shopping bags full of clothes. I was very hypomanic, verging on manic, and did not know it. She tried to get me to calm down so she could ask some questions, but i couldn't still or slow my thoughts. She stopped the session and sent me to a walk in clinic with a note saying she thought i needed immediate medication, and she made an urgent referral to a pdoc. I went to the clinic and got some ativan, which helped a little, but i was kind of mixed, so i would take the ativan, which slowed me down enough to sit still and cry for hours. Then i saw the pdoc, who diagnosed bipolar and prescribed lamotrigine. I didn't take the lamotrigine, and instead flew to the Dominican Republic with my husband to try to sort things out. We were drunk for the entire trip, but it did help repair the relationship. My mood eventually stabilized on it's own and i never went back to the pdoc or counselor, or took the meds. I thought the diagnosis must be wrong, until a few years later when i had another major episode. I saw another pdoc who diagnosed bipolar, and i refused meds and didn't go back to see her again for 6 months. During that 6 months things got progressively crazier, so i finally accepted the diagnosis and started meds. I've been on various combinations of meds trying to get it right ever sincd, and that was over 3 years ago.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
"Does the body rule the mind, or does the mind rule the body?"
"Those who feel the breath of sadness, sit down next to me. Those feel they're touched my madness, sit down next to me. Those who find themselves ridiculous, sit down next to me."
|