Oh, I am really sorry you are hurting.

Have you sought counseling and meds for the PTSD?

Can you go on payment plans to help with the bills? Take a deep breath. You are to be commended for working through this. Your boss is a jerk, but then , most bosses are. He just wants you to get better so he can do less work!

I have an idea or two that might help you out. Google "mental health advocate" plus your state. I'm on board with one, and they offered a lot of help. The one in my state is run through Legal Aid (really).

Also--and I mean this--if depression is crippling you, and affecting your job, maybe vocational rehab can help!! I worked with depression--45-50 hours a week-- and never knew I was eligible for their services. It does help to have doctor back ups. But wow!! They can put me through school if I want to find another (better paying, less stressful) job.

You need to use the kind of strength you show on the job to reach out off the job for some help. You can do it, I know you can.

And hey, guess what!! I'm single and childless and can relate sooo much. Yea, it's tough, isn't it? Like you're seen as more selfish. Lol!!! Yet who gets asked to stay late or work holidays? We do!! At least I USED to!! I was assertive about asking for good vacation times. It's a win-win. I'm not resentful, and my boss gets a better worker.

PS. I never recommend meds but just wanted you to know I feel like a new person since going on Abilify. It took my body a lot to get used to. I also went through an intensive outpatient program at a local hospital and it was awesome. If you have vacation coming I really wonder if you could spend that time in an IOP program.

If you can't find the ability to even do these things then I would consider being hospitalized for a few days just to give your brain a rest and get some good meds and therapy. You sound like you've been hurting a long time. I wish you well, and send you lots and lots of hugs!!

PS: Hell won't freeze over if you refuse some of the work in an assertive way. Say to the boss "I know you think a lot of me because you trust me with extra work, but Please get (so n so) to take up some extra work, too." He'll respect you for speaking up no matter WHAT he decides!!!!!

And give your coworkers something to relate to!! Recipes?? Memories of your childhood?? Pets?? A movie? These women are in a clique. You don't want to be their friend, but I keep hearing "self-isolating" and it makes me wonder if these women think you prefer it that way.