I have a theory and I hope I can explain it properly.

As you know, Borderlines see things in black or white. This includes ideas of what is good or bad, likes and dislikes, right or wrong, idealism or realism.

One thing I noticed as I grew up was this idea I had about my parents. Now, they were the typical parents - father the major disciplinarian; mother the comforter. Now to me, I viewed this as my mother being the "angel" and my father being the "devil" (classic black and white thinking).

Now, use this idea to view how your daughter-in-law views her children. If she is truly borderline, or even has tendencies toward black and white thinking, she may see one child as being always good (and will not recognize the bad this child is doing because she may see him only in the "white," so to speak. If she rages against her husband (your son) she may see him only in the "black," possibly as I did with my parents. The child is good; the father, bad.

Make any sense?

It would be interesting to see how she treats the young daughter as she grows. The black and white may manifest itself between the children as well, or does it already?

I'd really like your opinion about my theory, because to me, it makes total sense (from a borderline perspective, that is).

Altered State