Hi Skeezyks,

Oh yes, I am familiar with the works of Pema Chodron and, when not in crisis, try to stay in the "here and now ." Problem is, I really don't like the "here and now" very much. I am reminded the I don't have much of a choice. This PTSD makes it so much more difficult for me to cope. Sometimes, these days, all I can do is practice a DBT skill, living "moment to moment " or just plain even focusing on 4 breaths if that's all I can do hoping that it will help to stabilize me eventually.
I guess I was hoping for the unattainable, "cure for the day" on a trigger day for me. Right now, my therapist is helping me with baby steps, providing me with reassurance, hope (when I can not muster up any for myself), and he tries to get me to focus on the positive things in my life right now, ie, healthy children both physically and, despite their distraught mom, mentally. I realize this is such a long process requiring perseverance when my tank feels empty. I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have my children to remind me that they need their mom, despite my despair. What a bummer post.

Thank you for reading about my struggles.