Quote:
Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
The age old excuse of cheaters is to direct the blame on the person they are supposed to be commited to. I'm sorry but if someone hurts you, doesn't live up to your expectations or otherwise does not give you a license or justification for cheating. It's the most common behavior with cheaters because they know from the get go that they are in the wrong and need this deflection of blame so that they can remain in denial that they are simply, dishonest, deceitful adulterors. NO one drives anyone to doing something wrong, you always have free will and choice to do the right thing or not.
The best path for her is to go it alone, the only way she'll know the consequences (friends being distant, losing support network) will she be able to really realize it's NOT ok. If people look the other way, support her adultery and double life, she will be enabled to continue doing it.
Glad you're seeing you should step away from this. I do agree not getting in her face or having standoffs with her, considering that you work together is a good idea.
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It has been hard path but I feel that I'm taking small steps and making progress. I've started to act cordial. I find it is best to try and leave it calmly given my work situation as you say. Believe it or not it's a little bit of relief. I still feel bad about her struggles but also feel a little less burdened by it. I did finally get clarity from her as to her withdrawl. She simply cannot face the fact that I am her "truth" mirror. I now understand that she just wishes to remain "lost". This is very sad to me, and only because I'm used to speaking to her frequently. And it now it's just casual conversations maybe once a week. I 'm struggling I will not lie but I know that eventually it'll become easier and I hope one day my friend will return. If not then it ran it's course and that is ok.