When I was fifteen I did a 180 from being the shy kid who didn't talk to being irritable and not taking anyone's crap. They diagnosed me as depressed and put me on anti-depressants which looking back had caused mania for me. I would snap within a second if someone looked at me the wrong way, road rage, etc. I was also a cutter at the time. Oh and also at sixteen I was diagnosed with OCD which took over my entire life, but that's another whole story in itself. So at about nineteen I stopped all of my pills, they were not working it was just getting worse. At twenty I decided to attempt suicide, the OCD at the time was just too much.

Then over the years it got worse. Right before my wedding I really started to spiral back into the irritability phase, I think the stress not sure, maybe that was the trigger. At 27 I decided to start therapy and see a pdoc. During a therapy session I was talking about some story that was recent about one of my rages and he looks at me and says I think you might be bipolar not depressed. He talked to my pdoc and they started me on Lamictal. At 50 mg I could feel the change and I realized that this was what had been wrong all of these years. I was diagnosed as BP 2 at the time. I am now 34 and have been thru numerous meds and still no luck except for Haldol for 3 weeks, but that didn't last. I have only been in the hospital once. And was recently diagnosed as BP 1 with mixed episodes, which also is starting to make complete sense as to why I feel depressed and manic at the same time. So that's my story!!!