Lately I've been feeling the urge to cut, which I haven't done it over a year now. Before that I only had one slip up, and without it I wouldn't have done it for almost 2 years. The thing is, I am not depressed. I'm not sad, or overly anxious. But I have had some triggers in my life the past month or so. Anyone heard of the new True Life on MTV? "True Life: I Self Injure" it really got me thinking, which in this case isn't so good.

Does anyone else feel like SI is this drug, and you're an addict who has to continually resist? I never thought I'd feel urges that strong again, like I did when I used to cut. But I did last night and I couldn't even pinpoint why. Thankfully, I didn't cut. I thought VERY far ahead and imagined the consequences, and how it would only hurt me in the long run. I imagined how it would probably be the beginning of a downward spiral, because the shame of cutting and the utter disappointment I would have in myself could really send me into a tailspin, I'm sure.

Either way - I didn't do it. But I feel like I'm getting tired of always resisting, fighting the urge, etc. I think ahead but that can only work for so long. I was wondering if anyone had any advice? I've just been so easily triggered lately. I keep thinking about it. I write in my journal during urges, that helps, but I still don't know what else I should be doing. I can't/won't do anything in substitution of hurting myself (re: rubber band thing, ice cubes, red pen, etc) I just was wondering what some do to distract themselves.

Thanks everyone, please be safe!