I was living with a man who kept saying I was crazy. I didn't believe him. He made me an appt behind my back (not sure how he did it) tricked me into going by telling me we were going somewhere else, dropped me off, and chirped out. I was first diagnosed at that appt and treated for acute mania. The only reason I wasn't hospitalized was because I had no one to care for my child. He was later abusive and when I left him, I went off my meds, believing it was all really his fault. My meds were very clearly not doing anything anyway. I moved out of the area from my pdoc and just never got a new one. I just concluded she was a quack since the main reason for my diagnosis was a lack of sleep. I slept for 30 minutes the night before that appointment.
The second time, I was in one of the worst mixed states I've ever experienced. I was sitting in my car in the driveway determined to go anywhere else, bawling my eyes out. My current boyfriend called me because he was afraid, and I frantically started talking SI. He carefully talked me out of suicide, and calmly hinted that he thought I might be bipolar. Since he always seems to be right, once I was heavily sedated, I talked to my pdoc about the episode. He was mad that I hadn't called sooner, but I kept thinking I was fine, even after the fact. I wish i still had that doctor, but list my insurance. This was all triggered by a college class, I now realize... I still didn't take my diagnosis seriously until I was a bit more medicated and thought back on my life. I have a lot of crazy stories and I'm pretty sure ALL of them were some sort of episode.
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My labels:
Bipolar 1 w/ psychosis
PTSD
GAD
SAD
ADHD
Current meds:
1500mg divalproex sodium
3mg alprazolam
0.5 mg triazolam PRN
assorted non psych meds.
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