I have a similar issue with my wife....we both met young, and normally get along fairly well.... basically she's said that she's just not that interested in being physical. It's maybe not as bad as the main post here, we are on opposite ends of the spectrum for physical needs and it's extremely frustrating. I take very good care of myself, workout, stay fit, etc... I feel like I'm always chasing and it doesn't really matter what I do... I'm not asking to be super physical, just would like to get together a few times a week and basically feel like she will welcome my advances.

I've tried everything to motivate her, I'm normally a super positive person, but it's really depressing to be married to someone when you feel like you're way more interested in them than they are in you. So flowers, doing all the laundry, housework, date nights, none of it really matters because at the core of it all, she's not that interested in it apparently, whether it's me or anyone else.

Basically if she wants to be physical with me, she knows she can whenever she wants.... but I don't have the same level of comfort in return. Then on top of it, because she's not that interested in it, the sex is boring. If I try to mix it up and make it more fun, she gets uptight about it.

Anyway not to ramble... but I totally can understand where you are coming from. I know that women are attracted to me, but I feel like my own wife isn't because she just doesn't put the effort forth. I don't want a divorce because she's my best friend and we have a family, a history etc. together.... I just want her to let go and enjoy our alone time on equal terms with me...

I think to some extent it's about control.... but I really can't put my finger on it why she is this way.