A friend insisted I go out and "party" last night because I haven't been out. Had 2 beers, couldn't keep up the "everything's great" persona and took off.
Made me feel even worse.

Today I see my T. New one since February. Feel like canceling. The last T I had, I had for 2 years, saw me through so much. She was amazing, also had her own MI issues. She really got me, man I miss her.

This one's really nice but just doesn't get it but this is the end of the road for me. No where left to turn so I have to stick it out.

Seems like such a waste of everyone's time when It just doesn't seem like it helps but I have an obligation to my kids so I soldier on...