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Old Jun 16, 2014, 07:51 AM
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looking4polaris looking4polaris is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Depletion View Post
I thought my ex t was having conter-transference. My experience of her was so intense that it felt spiritual to me (an I'm not really a spiritual person). But it turned out that she didn't feel connected to me (or at least she didn't confess feeling connected to me). In fact I found out that she felt just the opposite. She said that she was nauseated by my feelings for her, and had found our sessions almost unbearable. So I guess that is a kind of conter-transference reaction, but not the one I secretly hopped for.

But even if she had feelings for me, I really never wanted anything to happen. I was relived when I had feelings for her, because I had for so long had feelings for teachers, and in college my obsessions with professors were out of control.
I think that would be very difficult to hear from anyone, but so much more so from a T. And, while some very skilled Ts might be able to share those kinds of counter-transference feelings with a client in a way that progresses the work of the therapy, revealing it in the final session seems cruel. I'm sorry that happened to you.
Are you glad that she told you or would you rather she hadn't?

As for wanting to provoke feelings in my T, yes. In general, I want to know I matter enough to cause a blip on his radar now and then - that I'm not invisible, worthless, powerless, etc.
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^Polaris
"Life is 10 percent what you make it, and 90 percent how you take it." ~ Irving Berlin
Thanks for this!
angelicgoldfish05, Depletion