It has helped me to start saying it out loud. I found it makes a difference who it is said out loud to. Feeling safe while speaking the truth has been a huge factor for me. I tried to tell twice when I was still in the midst of the abuse. Big failure because I chose the wrong people to tell. I never spoke of it again until I got into therapy...ahh, safety...finally there is my voice that was silenced at age 5.
I hear you Tinyrabbit, and can empathize with your feelings of shame and silence. I am even at this point only able to say the words to my therapist, my husband and my sister (who lived the same childhood I did). Still can't say the words to my brother who is implicit in maintaining the family lie.