I had been treated for the depressive side since I was really little; just therapy as my folks were told I was just being a normal moody child at first., stupid therapist. All anyone cared about was the depression; no one thought / cared about the maniac side as they saw that as great that I was out of bed, somewhat functioning, over the moon, and no longer depressed. Several suicide attempts, hospitalizations, AD's, and docs later, there was still no help with the other side of things. No one listened.

Even into my twenties this went on, only being treated for the depressive spells. I kept trying to find someone who would listen, that things were not normal. It wasn't until my mid 30's that I happened to move out of state, and had to find yet another new pdoc, but this one listened to me about the other side: racing thoughts, weeks of insomnia, dangerous activities, shopping sprees, rapid speech, inattention, irritable, and periods of hyperactivity and thinking I could do anything during these times, AND explaining that something was wrong. This cannot be normal. That though the AD's helped with the depressive periods, what do I do about the rest? I could not finish school or hold a job, I would lose relation after relation, what is wrong with me, help me please?!

He immediately changed my meds and put me in touch with a DBT therapist, because I had developed some coping mechanisms over the years but these could be improved too. He said the diagnosis is not what is important whatever it came out to be, it is getting the help you need and not to focus on that. I honestly did not care what it was called; he was right, I just wanted help.

It took some trial an error but within three years, we found the right combination and I noticed about that time my diagnosis code for the billing changed to BP. We talked about it then, the ramifications, and how to discuss it with family, friends, etc. I am just grateful someone FINALLY listened; help was out there for the finding.