Thank you ever so much for your help. It's means a lot to be heard without being judged. I don't think the marriage can be saved. It's begun to get stifling now. There is nothing wrong with my husband but I have come to the point where I cannot stand him...I know I am the cheater and it's a terrible thing to say but I wonder sometimes if he had not treated me with callous indifference I would have done something so uncharacteristic...I am considered quite a prude you know...if people should know my true colours now! I never realised how lonely I was till I met the other man with whom I shared this great rapport for so long...but he too abandoned me...turned his back when I needed him the most...can you give me your point of view as to why he did what he did? There is a very very small opening for a job, I used to be good at what I did but then I may have to start at the mid-level now after giving up my senior position. That's all right. Anything to get this person out of my head and feel a little more worthwhile. Days will pass and it won't hurt so bad but I will never get an answer to why he did this to me knowing very well how much I had invested in the relationship. I have heard since my last post he's got a top job somewhere...ah the bitter ironies of life!!