I really liked your response Listen More Talk Less...
It just really resonated with me.

Although I see my T as different from any other "male" I have ever known...sometimes when I am at my lowest, I still 'wait for' him to yell or hit or berate me. I even said that to him one time...."I wish you would just yell at me and get it over...."
He never did. The anticipation of the blow, still remains sometimes. I have to work on this and I do tell him these things...

I strongly agree that transference and counter-transference are just feelings and awareness of responses to one another and are tools for learning how we relate and interact. They are NOT in and of themselves negative/destructive/improper/or sexual. We all react and it is for the Therapist to interpret and direct them and keep things safe.

I'm so very sorry that many have had feelings hurt or been abused within a therapeutic alliance or had misconstrued feeling or had expectations that were dismissed or broken...that is painful!
The more open and honest we can be with our therapists and communicate our vulnerabilities and strengths the better the relationships will be....

It is hard to be vulnerable and harder to change. But being where we are is not working...so we have to try. And therapy can create beautiful change and healing. It takes a lot of work and integrity on both sides.

Best of healing for each of us..
WB