It has helped me to start saying it out loud. I found it makes a difference who it is said out loud to. Feeling safe while speaking the truth has been a huge factor for me. I tried to tell twice when I was still in the midst of the abuse. Big failure because I chose the wrong people to tell. I never spoke of it again until I got into therapy...ahh, safety...finally there is my voice that was silenced at age 5.

I hear you Tinyrabbit, and can empathize with your feelings of shame and silence. I am even at this point only able to say the words to my therapist, my husband and my sister (who lived the same childhood I did). Still can't say the words to my brother who is implicit in maintaining the family lie.

I can totally, totally empathise with what you're going through. I'm not sure exactly what words I used when I told my T, but he understood enough that I can now reference it and he knows what I'm talking about.
But I find the A word still really hard to say. My T asked me (I really can't remember how he worded it) what I want from therapy on that issue, and I said it was enough for now to know he knows, and I can talk to him about it if I need to. That's where the empowerment lies for me, in knowing he knows and understands. I think that the ability to verbalise will come with time, and isn't vital to begin the healing process, so don't be hard on yourself if you struggle to say it.