Hi,

I believe I am (or at least used to be) very codependent. And the problem is, codependents systematically seem to fall in love with narcissists. I recognize this very well. I would never have wanted someone who drops everything for me, someone who couldn't live without me, someone who'd ask too much from me. I'd just run away as fast as I could.

And then you get exactly what you wish for. In my case, an extrovert, not really needing me for who I was, but rather 'using' and manipulating me.

Now I'm wondering: I got to the point where I see the patterns. I know where it goes wrong and I know I was never able to love the 'too kind' persons in my life. But what do you do about it? I mean, you can't force love, can you? Even though I see the values of a kind, sweet, loving, caring person. Of course I do.

So... can a mind actually overrule the emotions? Making you one day able to fall in love with someone who's absolutely right for you?