Hi Snuggles, about your dad: maybe it would help if you had either more or less involvement in what's going on for him?? I'll explain!!
A bit more: maybe if you were more part of his appointments you could get a bit more solid/concrete information to work with, maybe you could be more prepared with what's going on/going to go on for him, you might even get some reassurance about how he is- we can always be thinking the worse if we aren't sure/aren't "in the loop" fully. But, yes, maybe you could feel a bit more in control??
A bit less: Just make sure you've got some "time out" for yourself. Time when you can try to cut off/let go of what's going on. Even if that's some activity you can find that you enjoy or can loose yourself in a bit.
And as for your daughter, again it must be really hard. Bu can I ask if you have any support groups around you or that you can access online. I'm sure there are some out there but not sure how wide spread they are. It might be good for you to get some back-up/support/advise from other people in the same position as yourself, it must be really hard for you.
And your husband: "best man in the world".....well you know if that's the case do you think maybe you could take the mask off a little??? He may be hurting but so are you too, and perhaps this could be the perfect time for you both to support each other and come together on this if you could encourage him to talk a little?? You may need each other just as much as ever now, so worth trying to start moving some of those obstacles. It may not be easy but, maybe together...........???
And you now know you have our support too!!!
Alison