I tried calling, but couldn't bring myself to ask for the follow-up calls. I'm much better on the chats, so I may head over there later to ask them that way.
I feel like the little bargains with myself to keep going for another 15 minutes each time (or however long I can engage in a distraction activity) only works for about 3 rounds... then I need something else. I'm kinda getting spent on switching things up all the time. I did agree with the person on the other end of the line that I would not cut while in the shower. Even though she will never know whenther or not I actaully do, it means a lot to me to keep my word, so I will not do it (the bathroom is a huge weakness, but I really need to shower already).
I hate this part, where I know what it is that I need, but I don't really know how else to get it. I just need to hold out till tomorrow to talk to my therapist and see where we go from there (even if it's just more bargaining with myself along the way). I don't know what to do for a reward though. You are the second person to mention that concept today, but I have nothing I could use. I'm broke, with no gas money, and we don't have anything yummy at home that I may consider a reward. Baths or showers are out because the bathroom is a "trigger" (where I sh). I just don't know what else to do. There's nothing I want to watch, or do, or really enjoy all that much. Everything like that has been listed as a coping skill lately, so it's not really any reward there.
Thanks Alison. I don't know why you are bothing to write or take any time on this, but thank you for doing that