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Jun 16, 2014, 05:45 PM
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Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 32
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Today I contemplated how nice it would be to be in a relationship with somebody. On the other hand I am so hypervigilant due to being in relationships with persons seemingly having antisocial behaviors, one of them being my Mother. I have broken off all of these relationships and also would like relationship to start out with quality communication to see just where the person is at and if this person might be a danger to me in similar ways as Mom and a couple of others. I am talking about the danger of being abused emotionally here. I've gotten to a point that I just run at the first sign of such danger, wierd conversations that are not all consistant with what the perso wants to paint of self in regards to values, priorities, etcetra. As nice as it would be I'm so sure the timing is wrong. I would not be as relaxed and who knows what would happen? Maybe I'm making a case out of nothing in part. But I'm not as relaxed as I was before. Or maybe it will evolve more at her end and I'll be surprised that she'd be interested in me at all. Thanks to Mom that has always been the way. It would be nice to have somebody special. But maybe I'm not able to be special to anybody right now. Just thought Id throw this out and ask for feedback. It might alter how I see all this. My hypervigilance started just recently by the way. I know it is only a temporary thing. But what is "temporary" in my case? A rhetorical question. Thanks for reading and for responding. 
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Today is the tomorrow I longed for yesterday.
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