So, I have a little situation on my hands.

I've been seeing my T for a little over two months. I'm having a hard time fully letting her in. Not because I don't trust her, but because I do trust her. I trust her enough to let her in and that is quite frankly terrifying to me.

I find myself when I'm in therapy...wanting to just run to her and let her protect me from everything. Almost like she's the safest place I the world. I want her to care and tell me that everything is going to be okay.

At the same time I don't want her to care, try to protect me, or anything of that nature. Letting people in that much in the past has only been a disaster. So I do keep a distance between us so that doesn't happen.

So I guess I'm questioning whether these feelings are from an attachment or from transference. Maybe it's both. I don't really know.

My predicament is how to go about addressing this. My T has told me in the past how if there's something I need to tell her that I just need to tell her. So I'm thinking okay just tell her. The tricky part is her reaction to these feelings.

On one hand she could be completely understanding about the situation if I do tell her. On the other she could be freaked out about it and decide it is beyond her comfort level. Then the dreaded termination happens.

If I choose not to tell her however if could put a wrench in our therapeutic relationship and unfortunately also make healing more complicated.

I'm kind of between a rock and a hard place. It could be a win/lose situation or a lose/lose situation. I don't want to risk having to see someone else because I don't want to let anyone else in. At the same time if that's the only way to work through my trauma and other issues then it's be the best choice for me.

Sorry this is so long. I have an analyzing personality. One thing that actually seems to bother my T, so yeah. I apologize for the long explanation and analyzing.