as a man how would you reveal (to your significant other or to a close friend) about your abusive past? Would you only tell them if they (for whatever reason) asked, or would you want to someday tell them in order to feel closer to them?

I'm asking this because in all honesty, I wouldn't be able to tell anyone, and if someone asked I'd lie about it or downplay it.
it's embarrassing to not be able to fight back / defend myself and even more embarrassing that im a boy.