(((((((((Wants2fly))))))))))) I know what you mean. I'm waiting for something inside of me to break-in a good way. You know? Like, when an abused wife gets so fed up with being beaten up she totally loses it, lashes out and beats up the husband?
But instead of it being a husband beating me up-it's me beating me up and one day I'll just jump up and beat the side of me beating me up, down.
Hmmm, does that make any sense?
Anyway, I think it's a matter of determination and courage. A will to believe in yourself.
We can put so much energy into beating ourselves down, can't we turn it around and apply that same energy towards protecting and loving ourselves?