Do not confuse your thoughts for who you are or take a single answer for "all" of you. You do not know all of you, probably do not know even the most of You if you have not been studying You very long.

You cannot know the future, if "desired kind of event" will/will not happen to you. You can have a desired kind of event for a goal ("graduate college", for example) but You are not what does/does not happen to you. You are only what is You! Nothing outside you is You.

Too, maybe you are not now the kind of person who works hard at studying so they can graduate college but you can become that person if you want. I was in the middle of a final exam in college, age 41m and got stuck on a problem that teased me with being just out of reach of my remembering how to solve it. I suddenly heard myself wish I had studied a little harder, 5 minutes longer A lightbulb went on and I realized studying was all for Me; not grades, my professor, my stepmother, my husband, only Me. I would like to say that made getting good grades suddenly easier but it made it harder. I was aware and had to choose to study after having chosen not to for over 35 years? I couldn't shrug at the responsibility, make it someone else's "fault" I was going to school and enjoying/not enjoying it. What I learned was all for and on Me, not anyone else.

I got straight A's after that, by design, except when I did not, also as part of my life and my choices and now, after the fact, of "Me." We are formed by our experiences but our experiences are not Us. We are our biology and genes but that is not all of us. I am prone to like X, Y, and Z subjects and have skills in A, B, and C areas but that is not what I choose to pursue necessarily or areas in which I use those skills.

Always remember that "self"-anything is wholly up to your Self, not anything else out there. What you decide to have for self concept is decided by you, just like self esteem is what you decide you feel about yourself; if it isn't what you want to feel about yourself, you work to make yourself the way you want. If you tell too many lies and don't like being a "liar", you work hard to tell the truth so you do not think of yourself as a liar anymore. 15-20 years ago I came up with a motto/slogan/idea of what I wanted to become. I am a 3M Woman (and had a teeshirt made with that on it, "3M Woman" :-) I strive to be "Warm, Wise, and Whimsical". I do better at times with one than another of the three, have to remind myself to work on one when I don't necessarily feel like it, etc. but it is what I want. And, in my life, that is 100% of what counts. Ain't no one else in here with me