My best friend killed himself nine months ago and im still having a hard time dealing with his loss. Sometimes I still feel like he is gonna walk through the door with his usual smirk on his face and when he doesn't it crushes me all over again. I guess I never got closure. After he died nobody would talk about him and they still wont. They thought I was already unstable enough so they didnt let me go to the funeral. Instead they sent me to school where I spent my time staring at the wall waiting for my phone to ring. I was waiting for somebody to call me and tell me it was a prank and he is alive. I guess I'm still waiting for that call.