I have to agree with DSM-3.14...(wonderful screen name, BTW)

Different therapists have different codes, they are mostly similar but not the same. I only have thorough knowledge with the APA Code of Ethics.

The APA Code of ethics has an "aspirational" section and an "enforceable" section. The "aspirational" section includes things all psychologists should aspire to. These are general principles, such as "do no harm", etc. The "enforceable" section involves boundaries that cannot be crossed under any circumstance (or very "special" circumstances).

That being said, "the code" can and is sometimes twisted from a therapist's perspective, unless it is a boundary violation that is very concrete (e.g. don't have sexual contact with patients.) There are many shades of gray, since some ethical decisions code for "clinical judgment" from the side of the therapist. However, their judgment CAN be wrong.

Here is the important point. If a therapist crosses YOUR boundaries of comfort, and they start turning to the Code to rationalize their behavior - RUN. They are getting defensive, and it might (not sure) be the case that they are hiding behind their interpretation of the code to justify their behavior or to prevent someone from filing a complaint.

Most therapist's behavior are much stricter than the code. The code pretty much says "you do this, you will be sanctioned/punished/etc", however, individuals can certainly push that line and enter gray territory.

The APA's Code (and perhaps other codes) use some rather technical language; thus, I would recommend that if you have any questions, you consult with an impartial third party who is familiar with the particular code (e.g., another neutral therapist).

Also, it is NOT the patient's responsibility to figure out whether the Code has been "violated" or not. The patient can file a complaint, and is up to the licensing board to make that decision. This is because most issues are NOT black and white, so it requires experts and people knowledgeable with the subject matter.

But let me reiterate the important point.

If your therapist makes you uncomfortable, has looser boundaries than you'd like, you don't feel you are benefiting from therapy, or that she has your best interest in mind - you owe her NOTHING. She is providing a professional service meant to benefit YOU. She is there to meet YOUR needs, not hers.

While the Code matters in terms of whether he/she could lose her license (you can always file/not file a complaint if you'd like); even if he/she does something "allowed" by the code, it does not mean you should be OK with it or put up with it.