Jaq10, about seeking outside relationships as the answer to the agony of transference: I've been reading a ton of articles...scholarly, that is, by the recent experts on transference, such as Michael Balint, Bolby, Richard Chessick, Kohut, and Winnicott. I have trouble with transference and have desperately needed to know how it really plays out. You can be reassured. It isn't finding friends that solves your transference. I'm sure you've found out how painful that thought is, even. What resolves it is going through it with your T for a long time. As long as it takes.
Then, you may come to a settling of your feelings, where it doesn't feel so desperate an attachment. If you get independent, it will be your wish, not something that is forced on you. But I know even that is unthinkable for now. But don't worry about it. Just stay in therapy and keep talking.