(((Mowtown))),

I am sorry you are having a down and emotional day today. But I am glad you came here to vent it out. I had a bad morning myself and luckily I had therapy today and got to vent it, plus other big issues that are challenging, one being very much like yours, having family that is unsupportive when I need support.

Mowtown, these days will come up where you come across something that you need to mourn, it doesn't mean you will forever be this way, as my T said to me today, try not to get too far into the future with this. You need to make note of how you feel and discuss it in therapy, that is something that is part of trauma work that you do with your T. You are not going to change your family, instead, you will change how that affects you and that really takes time, I am dealing with that myself.

Oh, how I wish I lived near you so you could stop by to vent and get a hug, you certainly do need that. I try to do that in my words to you, I already know you have a good heart and have been trying very hard in your healing. You "are" a kind hearted man Mowtown, and you just need some more time to heal, you need to be patient with yourself, and I know first hand there are days when that is hard. I also know all about feeling like you are on that mouse wheel, I get so I feel that way myself, god knows I have a lot on my plate and I have to ignore the comments when others around me are unsupportive and trigger me or upset me.

I had therapy today and I had so much to vent I was all over the place. My T stopped me and he said, "you see what you are doing now?" He said, this is what some misdiagnose as Bipolar because they think these racing thoughts are Bipolar thoughts when instead what you are doing is trying to run from all the emotions you are dealing with, it takes a knowledegable trauma specialist to recognize the difference. I thought that was interesting to know. My T has read through my records and has seen the mistakes made with me he asked me if he could keep them for a while and I think he is planning on doing something and showing my records as an example of what not to do with a trauma patient.

You need to talk about how you feel in this thread with your therapist too Mowtown, you are trying very hard, but you cannot run away from your emotions, you need to vent them out and have them validated correctly and as my T explained to me that means I need to slow down more plan to focus on one thing at a time. Well, that isn't easy is it?

So bring what you wrote here to your next therapy session ok? I hear you and , easy does it take some time outs at work and self sooth, take deep breaths slowly learn how to work on using some techniques to get you off that "mouse wheel", hey I have to work on that myself so I know it isn't easy at first.


OE