Thank you so much for this, Restin. I am still struggling with this and it aches inside me. I am seeing T tomorrow and desperately feel the need to tell her how I feel about her. I have hinted by telling her how important she is to me and how I feel too dependent on her. But she has super stringent boundaries and I am afraid she will pull back even more. She never gives me any maternal type touch or hugs or anything really! I also really want to ask her for a hug. But I just can't bear to be told no. As I am sure she will say no.

This is made more intense as she is going away in two weeks for six weeks then I am away for a couple of weeks and I really want to get this out there before our break. I have been seeing her for 15 months. We have agreed to discuss whether we continue or not (her decision) in December.

I know she is very professional and safe and she just sees me as a client, nothing more. This hurts so very much. How do we get to that point where it doesn't ache. I have had this as long as I can remember - female teachers, bosses, etc.

Thank you for your post. It is really interesting.

Should I try to tell her tomorrow? And what on earth do I say? Any suggestions very gratefully received and pocket riders welcome!!!! Xx