InACorner:

Yes, we're serious enough to have a house together. We've been together for almost 14 years. We got kicked out of our apartment several months ago (I think you can find out more in a search, but in short, my OCD has to do with it, although we do dispute the management's claims that our apt. is "filthy" because it's not and others who have seen it agree), so we have to move out. My bf feels it's time to get a house (but I'll still have to pay as much rent to him as I pay here).

My mom lives in an apartment complex for the elderly, and my dad is dead. I can't live with anyone else, because of my OCD issues. I can't live just anywhere. Other people's homes are "dirty" to me, and no matter how it was cleaned, it would never be "ok" to me. I'm nervous about this house as it is. I can't live in an old, dirty, rusty, etc., house or apartment. My OCD really can't deal with it. I can't deal with public transportation, schools or churches, either. (And I gave up public transportation even when I could use it, because of the problems I had with it, such as being sexually harassed a lot.)

My boyfriend works during my T appointments. He has to drop me off during his lunch hour, and I have to stay there until he's done work, when he picks me up. It's not that he doesn't try to understand, but I doubt he'd read anything. Nobody I've ever asked has read anything, or much, that I know of. My bf always seems like I'm a pain to him if I ask him to read anything (not just about OCD), or for me to read to him, but I'm supposed to be interested in whatever he wants to read to me.

My T (which is only a med-shrink right now) doesn't understand my OCD, and when I had a talk-shrink, none of them did, either. They always look at me as if I'm weird when I tell them some of my "things." Believe me, my OCD is very real to my bf.

But yes, I am a burden. I told him I felt like that, and he admitted I sometimes am.

I took over two years to decide to go off my meds. I'm extremely happy with the decision. My monthly "breakdowns" have completely stopped, my heart skipping has almost stopped altogether, I feel my "passion" returning, and I don't feel so numb anymore.

I've seen all the psychs available to me in the area, that I can afford (meaning, they take Medicare and have low co-pays) and have hours I can work with. I've been seeing psychiatrists, psychologists and even a hypnotist for 29 years.

I speak up about my OCD and such. Or, I used to. They just nod. The med-shrink writes prescriptions. They've told me about the therapies I've read about time and time again, and tried many times. They don't do anything with me, like the shrinks you see on talk shows, although I don't think that would work any better.

I have tried to talk to my boyfriend. He just gets real quiet, and looks very tense. Often, the next day or so, he'll tell me he's going to go visit his sister, where I think he lets loose his tensions.