Hi ak82, OK maybe you feel that you did the stupidest thing but that does not make you stupid.
And you know, we're all (at least the vast majority of us!!) going to do the stupidest thing/s at times for no reason, or no justifiable reason we can see when we look back on things. It's much more about where/how we move on from them and learn from them. I mean, sometimes we may make the same/similar mistakes again but it's as much about learning processes.
Still right now all it says (if you're right about it) is that your action/s weren't really the right thing to do (for whatever reasons) in the circumstances not that you were stupid.
And hey, could some of those reasons be down to you unfairly doubting yourself, loosing focus if you're not feeling good about you/about your life, lacking the energy/the motivation/the attention because of how you're feeling.................you know seems understandable you could make more mistakes feeling like that. So judging yourself/your actions too harshly there, maybe????
And your, inept standards..............to me you're definitely sounding like you're depressed. Would you agree just a little?? And depression can make you "drop the ball" at times, as well as thinking the worse about yourself. With depression, you've enough to cope with, without blaming yourself (unfairly!!) for things too!!
And, you know I'm going to link in all this: " I'm fat, idiotic, and boring. I don't do any good for anyone. I not only don't deserve my job, I doubt if I deserve my life" with depression too!!
The "no woman wants me bit" I've just seen some of your previous threads (answered one) but other people have no doubt given much better advise than I did so.........leaving that one, unless............???
But ak, you do deserve so much better than the way you're feeling right now!! And that is possible. Anyone is worth so much more than the way you're feeling right now!! Really!!!
So I'm really sorry but you're going to need to refresh me a little here.........are you seeing a T or getting any other help in what you're going through, or something you could maybe consider bearing in mind the way you're feeling??
Although we're here for you too, if you just want to talk a bit more about things, right now.................
Alison