Hi there, this is my first real post so hiiii!

Truth is I have a lot of friends but I seem to hide a lot....I recently went throguh a break up and a really hard time financially because of the relationship and I'm afraid people know and are judging me....Or even if they know its not ok with me...Like I need to kinda be perfect or at least being doing really stable and well....and definitiely cannot allow most anyone to know how messed up I really am......SO if someone invites me somewhere I wonder why they feel sorry for me and are inviting me and then I start to wonder who told them what abotu me...at first I thought ok this is possible for people to have told them stuff....then my mind said these things about anyone that called me or anything....ITS so HARD to think suspiciously abotu everyone and want to hide allt he time.......Ive kinda been this way my whole life....Even when I got into relationships I want to hide with the person...like OK I have someone so I just want to gnaw on it like a dog with a bone....Sometimes I'm social and when I am Im ok....But these worries are kinda driving me nuts.....paranoia? Insecure? What is all this nonsense my mind is doing? SO THANKFUL FOR THIS SITE