that too, but she also wants to be paid for her time. she was quite explicit about that (but everytime ive offered to pay shes always refused, so i didnt know what to do about that. the rest... i dont know. i dont go to therapy intending to fight with her, but i AM borderline and i do have intense rage and sometimes shes..in the way. i do try to control it but sometimes it just seeps out.

i told her from day one i was borderline, bc i know that a lot of therapists dont want to work with us, and i didn't want her to feel tricked by finding it out later. several other therapists declined outright to work with me when i told them i was borderline. i think i can be very captivating sometimes and a vicious ***** the next and even if im not voicing it out loud, its in my body language. and i dont know how to control the rage. it scares me.