Yup...Sounds like you are percolating right along.

You have to respect a T that allows this journey. I went through an extended phase of being so angry (mega transference) but going back because I know it was a journey I needed. To be able to express it all is so big... I kept going as I realised that I trusted my T and this might be a journey I needed to take. At this juncture some people might have run away instead of stayed to face the music. Hang in there.

I too understand your mixed feelings...What an ocean it is. It is all there....damn it and bless it....

I think much of therapy is an experiment but although it seems like an experiment for both, we are the ones living it minute to minute, day to day, etc.. What a profession.

Best wishes with the journey and take it all in. Try to let him in... he might have a little intelligence himself. ;-)

Might you even consider that this session had positive merit? Negative can also be positive... Powerful. You are definitely percolating.