no i have a hard time opening up to begin with. not to mention it happened right before my session and i was so shocked by it i dont think i processed it until hours later. i don't want to tell her about it... b/c as much as i was shocked by it, i have a weird feeling that she'll filter what she says and does from now on so i'm not affected? it's a weird thing... as much as this upset me, my curiosity is so intense with her that i think i'd have more anxiety if i didn't have access to these moments that she thinks i don't see.

it's weird. i know.