I haven't posted in what seems like forever. I actually did really well this semester. I got several A's. My lowest grade was a C in Calculus 3 (which I probably only got because the prof made sure none of the problems required calculators because all the answers were nice round numbers or simple fractions). To be fair though, I was taking a couple easy classes like Acting because I didn't know how unstable I was going to be and I didn't want my GPA to get any lower.

My anxiety problems reared heir ugly head again for the first time in several years this semester and I had at least one entire week where I only went to maybe one class meeting at all since I was having near-constant panic attacks and fainting. But I ended up signing up with disability services early on (for bipolar) and keeping in contact with my professors. Because of anxiety and other mental/physical health reasons I probably only showed up to half or fewer of the class meetings to two of my classes (actually got A's in both those, though) and had a panic attack during one I knew I shouldn't have gone to but the prof kept attendance and it was difficult material anyway.

But disability services and several kind members of my major's department helped me retroactively withdraw from fall 2013 semester - the stack of supporting mental health documents was over an inch thick. So now my GPA doesn't suck and I don't have that stress anymore because unless something really bad happens again, it's probably only going to get better.

But recently I've been having a really difficult time reading long bits of text, such as in a novel or non-math textbook. I can't focus and it's like my brain's trying to read all the words at once and I have to go over the same sentence several times far too often to understand what it said (and that's not even for difficult literature or subject matter). Especially if there are few spaces/small spaces in between paragraphs. It gets a little better if I read it aloud (although I still don't always comprehend it well) but I'm going to drive my sister nuts If I read everything aloud - I'm home for the summer and sharing a room with one of my sisters and two large dogs.

I'm also just way more easily distracted than usual. But I don't feel at all hypo or depressed. I feel pretty stable other than some lingering baseless anxiety.

I'm trying to track down the reason for this and would like to, if at all possible, find things I can do on my own because my meds are currently doing pretty great keeping me out of episodes and also I don't have insurance to see someone other than someone who can just continue re-prescribing what I'm on now.