Thank you for the kind sentiments.

Maybe the problem is that ... I'm searching for a solution that doesn't really exist. Perhaps I should just accept this for what it is, and let it just "be".

I know metaphorically running on a treadmill chasing a vision of "cure" just isn't getting me anywhere.

Has anyone ever just walked away from all of the "treatment", said "to Hell with it," dropped the therapists, doctors, medications and had it work?

A big part of me says "crazy is as crazy does" (a la Forrest Gump), and if I stop "acting crazy" by seeing therapists and doctors and chasing after some "cure", and just live a normal, day to day life and try to FORGET about it all, let it stay in the past, and just deal with the triggers in my own way, recognizing them for the ghosts of the past that they are, I would be so much better off? Time to take my toys and go home?