the problem is i want to keep her on that pedestal which i know isn't right... i have in my mind that someone super intelligent and above the rest can help me, not the 'every day' person. the fantasy i have in my mind is destroying me. she got a degree, and this is her job. just like i have a degree and got a job. and yet this feels like such a different level... ughhhhhhhh it makes my head spin