Thank you for the post and the very good quotes. It prompted me to read up on nueroplasticity and rewiring of the brain and I feel slowly it would be possible for me to get out of my misery if I changed my thought process. The reason why I wanted to put a name to my own behaviour is perhaps because at this time I need to be able to understand my own actions as much as I need to his callous disappearance. It's a long journey but I suppose I brought it on to myself and giving up everything for someone such as this person was so ridiculously foolish. I am just so appalled and still in disbelief that someone can just walk away from a relationship...of course that's rich coming from me...after all I did cheat, emotionally or otherwise...although I must add it never felt like it even a bit. I must be quite shameless...there's nothing to say in my defence.
Can you suggest a way in which I can start accepting his sudden abandonment? I know engaging my mind in a job will help... But in the meantime...