My anecdotal evidence, with a n of 1, is that finding the right therapist was essential in resolving (or at least mostly resolving) years and years of maternal transference stuff.
I was with my former T for 6 years, and in that time, the intensity and pain I experienced in the transference with her became excruciating. I was in therapy mostly to try to find some resolution to those feelings. I get now that her style, combined with my needs, was never going to promote the kind of resolution I was seeking.
I've seen my current T for a little over a year, and although there have been times when I've felt those same maternal longings with her, it's never been anywhere near as intense as it was with my ex-T. My T now is very open about how she feels about me (I.e., she openly demonstrates positive regard). Over time I've come to internalize that regard. I still have a desire to be held (just generally, not necessarily by her), to be loved in a way that my mom hasn't really ever been able to do. But I'm ok with that desire (again, for the most part), and it's brought about a lot of peace for me.
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