Quote:
Originally Posted by Trippin2.0
My advice? Just go with the flow, fighting it has a way of backfiring badly...
When my brother suddenly died, I'm pretty sure I fell off my rocker and broke it in the process. I was unstable as all hell. Buuuut, in my defence, that was a few months before being dxd and I didn't even know wth I was dealing with. I'm sure that had I known, I would've taken better care of myself. All I knew was that the stuff (episodes) I was battling, had suddenly become larger than life.
3 short months later, just as I was emerging from a rage filled psychotic depression and in the process of being dxd, my dad died.
The earth caved beneath me, but instead of batshyt crazy like before I was mostly just numb...
So I had 2 very differing grief reactions in a very short span of time.
Anyway, the point of all that info is this:
Constantly trying to frantically hold the pieces together isn't always the best way to go. Especially not with grief, it has to be experienced and processed somehow, and it will claw its way out of you eventually.
Cry when you're sad, scream into a pillow when you're mad, but DON'T deny yourself the right to feel your emotions on the account that they're larger than life. They're still valid, they're still real, they still need and deserve to be felt.
Best coping mechanism I had?
Sharing old "Remember when" stories with friends and familiy. My dad was no saint either, sometimes we spoke about his temper and I even b1tched about not knowing how to feel about him post mortem on here.
So its not that I pretended he was perfect and only focussed on his good side, its just that talking and mostly the joking about him helped us process as he was big on (his own dry) humour.
So yeah, don't fight what you feel, they're as valid as anybody else's feelings.
My sincerest condolences to you and your family, feel free to PM me anytime should you want to chat one on one. 
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Thank you for writing me about your experiences with grief. It really helped me understand how I'm feeling is okay. It sounds like you had alot happen to you all at once. Being diagnosed and having losses at the same time sounds very very overwhelming...unbearable pain. I'm so sorry for your losses.
I love my mother dearly. In a strange way I was teaching her about life and how to love. I hope she really heard all the things I was trying to instill in her. It seems to me that to her love was painful so she avoided it. She worried constantly and was full of anxiety and grief for the life she never got...the real love she yearned for my father could never give her. He is mean and cold hearted. Bullied me my whole life. But that's a whole story in itself. I feel like I should be crying more. I'm more in shock or numb. She was a miserable person and lacked true compassion. But she always showed me she loved me by doing things for me. I feel happy for her cause she's not suffering anymore...physically nor emotionally. She wanted more from life but couldn't see how to get away from my father's control. It's sad but it was towards the end when she realized what she missed out on.
Thanks for listening. It helps to write you about it cause it sounds like you understand. I wish I'd cry more.
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