I am diagnosed bipolar 1 and realize I am not an easy person to deal with, but I have made some huge changes to try to be. My husband was recently diagnosed with depression. He has been on his meds for 3 weeks obviously they have not started working. He is always moody and angry. The slightlest thing I say upsets him. He then starts an argument or shuts down completely. I am here walking on eggshells. Both of us met volunteering. We moved and now I volunteer quite a bit. I am on SSD and it helps me to be around other adults sometimes (I have my 4 year old stepdaughter with me all day), I enjoy it and it give me a sense of self. However, he no longer sees it that way. I thought maybe it was a dumb thought that he would be proud of me and what I am doing. He used to be. But now everytime I open my mouth I say the wrong thing. I wish I never talked. But of course then that would also make him upset. I love him dearly and want to help him. I do understand depression, I have lived with it myself for years. However, this is hurting our marriage. I don't know how to help him. I could use any suggestions or insight. I know patience is one of them. But I feel like I have to be sorry for anything. He acts like he is never to blame. I am going to try to keep my "volunteering" life away from him and not talk about it to start. I am on SSD so this is kind of like my work besides the house and kids. My life is scaring me and I am getting depressed over this. I try always to put him first. But it is not reciprocol. He acts like he puts me first but that isn't true. For example, I couldn't sleep so I got up to make his lunch. I found I was low on milk for the kids, so I tried to wake him up to go to the store he wouldn't answer so I figure I would leave him sleep. I am a grown woman and can get to the store myself. Of course, it was closed the next one being 10 miles away, I came home all this took about 15 minutes. When I got home all the lights were off and the door was locked. He thinks I am sneaking around or something. He claims he is a very secure person, but this to me seems very insecure. He and the children are my entire life. I am raising both of my stepchildren plus two of my own and trying to make us a family. But everything will be fine for about 5 minutes then just go down the tubes. I suggested marriage counseling before and he refused. I feel afraid to tell him anything anymore. I know patience is key. I am going to try to keep my "volunteering life" quiet and just not talk about it. But I have thought about quiting it all if that would just make him happy, but then of course, I would be unhappy. I would sacrifice anything for him but I don't believe he sees it that way. I post on bipolar forum about myself but now I need some advice from someone to help him and me. We want to have a baby but how can I with all this going on? I am getting older and now is the time but a baby won't fix either of us. I kind of thought it was his priority. But how can it be if we end up arguing? I am not the kind of person that gets angry when depressed, so that is what I am having so much trouble with. Anyone with anger/depression problems, can you help? Please give me some advice on how to avoid these problems. I want him happy more than anything. I thought he was my best friend but it really doesn't seem that way to me anymore. I feel like the arch enemy. Thanks for any help.

Kmarie