Thank you for your post, healing4me. When we both used he was definitely verbally abusive. I pulled him in for a therapy session on that and he cried. He is a total macho guy not sensitive so I think he was upset. He doesn't praise me for sobriety but he has never encouraged me to relapse. I do know he has a problem. He is on his feet all day as a contractor. When he gets home most days he stands in the garage, which is 90+ degrees, drinks warm red wine out of a box and smokes camel lights. WTH?! Who does that? I don't think I'm codependent, but I want a partner which can be difficult with my mental illnesses.

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