Everyone here would probably tell me to go see a doctor asap and allow them to admit me to a hospital, I've been told to do it before and I did schedule an appointment, but I just never show up.

I'm too scared and too nervous.

About the wrong things.

I'm not scared for myself, but for my family, if they found out and what they would do. How it would affect them, would my mom hate me? Would my mom disown me? Would she blame herself?

And what of the house, who would be left to clean it, who would help my parents?

They can't do it all by themselves, they need me here to help.

What would the rest of my family think?

I just couldn't put them in that situation, they don't deserve that.

But I need help and I don't know how to keep up with all the lies I've told to hide it all from them.

I've gotten another appointment with a different doctor but I don't know if I can do it. I'll probably just conjure up a fake injury or something.