I think a lot of boundaries cannot be established until they are threatened with breaking or break. How much is "too much" emailing? 1 email a week? 5? 6? 7? 10? One has to try out some situations to see if they will work with "this" person or not. My T did not mention until 6-8 years in that I would have to pay for sessions where I did not give 24 hours cancellation notice. This was after I notified only a couple hours before, because I was in the hospital ER and desperately wanting to be out and able to go to T so put off cancelling as long as I could. I was not charged for that cancellation, it was only for after. I had not needed that boundary before because I had never cancelled before. . . shown up hours and hours early, but never cancelled

I saw my T for two periods and the intro session of the second period she told me she was not an "ambulance chaser" and I wanted to be offended as that particular boundary was about as needed for me as the paying for cancellations of less than 24 hours notice but felt more personal since my T and I had seen one another for 9 years the first period and knew one another a bit I thought (why I called her instead of starting over with someone nearer to my job/home). But I took it as just a piece of business to get out of the way like price, day/time to attend, etc. It was a solid boundary that would/could never change is what I knew. The other stuff gets negotiated as one goes along and she would/would not allow some behavior, maybe for the entire time I saw her or maybe just until she felt it got to be in the way of my therapy. Any correction of a boundary sort during therapy I took on faith was something she felt would be beneficial to me. At one point, for example, we decided I would not say "I don't know" in answer to questions anymore That was a joint decision but there were others where she would say "tell me" instead of let me read to her or show her a book's passage, for example, where I just assumed, as hard as it was, that the boundary was to help me move in a particular direction, like you herd cattle through chutes to slaughter (or to get on the trailer to go to. . .). As hard as many of the boundaries were, both that she put in or I agreed to or I put in, monitoring myself (not to write her between sessions anymore), I cannot remember any that did not make sense and/or ultimately help me in some way.