Hi Hazelgirl,

Thanks for offering your opinion. I guess I agree in part. It won't work to try to "change" my t's boundaries. What I have tried to do is explain why I believe I need the boundaries to remain as they were in the past, in the hopes that my t would understand that it's necessary for me and agree to it. I have no desire whatsoever to "force" a change of boundaries. I abhor the ides of manipulating, using guilt, anger, or anything else to make my t provide what I feel I need. Forced care is not willling care, and forced care would not make me feel good at all. I would feel guilty and wrong if I insisted on my rights at the expense of what my t wants. And I would not take pleasure at all in receiving care that I somehow had to beg for or that I forced against my t's will. This is exactly how I felt about my needs with my mom - that she really didn't want to take care of me but did it only because it was required.

I'm not sure that changing therapists is the solution - especially if the problem resides with me, rather than my t. If the problem is that I can't tolerate and cope with my own emotional pain, what difference would it make to change therapists? The change would need to occur with ME, not with a change of therapist boundaries. My t has suggested at times that perhaps she doesn't have enough skills to help me. But I'm 90% certain that the lack is not with her - especially after reading the replies here.